thisoncewasme

i wish i was swedish

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:55:11 GMT

i've recently discovered my love for swedish girl groups. swedish girls are so cute!! it makes me jealous. check out my new favorite songs...

those dancing days - hitten

and

first aid kit - you're not coming home tonight

first aid kit are sisters! they have amazing voices...

how cute are those girls? answer- SO CUTE!

p.s. i woke up in such a daze this morning and totally forgot to brush my teeth... GNARLY!

also i am SICK of their being long gross hairs in the books i have to go through at work. every time i come across one and i have to touch it i get so grossed out i almost barf. it takes me like 5 minutes to get over it hahahah SICK!

i get off work in 2 hours and then its off to the library to study like there's no tomorrow. my laziness over school finally caught up to me! i have a quiz and test on monday, a paper due tuesday and then 2 test on wednesday. FUCK! goodbye summer, i held on for as long as i could!

i got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:48:55 GMT

i hate money!! why is it so hard to manage?? i'm trying, but srsly.

mitchell is home and i could not be happier. we spent all day yesterday just laying around together watching movies and playing super nintendo. it was the best lazy sunday i've had in a while.

this week i am feeling motivated!! well kinda... hahah i've already been skipping class and its only the 3rd week! its just hard when the teachers don't take attendance, and post all the notes online! there's not really any homework, just reading. its too easy!

this afternoon/tonight: work right now, then i have a few errands to run, and then i'm making an official welcome home meal for mitchell. his body is hurtin' because he's dehydrated and ate a bunch of crap on tour so i'm gonna make him a delicious, healthy meal to help get him back on track. YES!

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 07:16:55 GMT

i think roommates might be the worst thing that ever happened to me. HELP!

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 00:40:44 GMT

tyra's italian accent totally sounds jamaican hahhahha

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:24:31 GMT

i hate when i get woken up by my rooommates being really loud. i'll get cranky (i HATE being woken up when i don't want/need to do it), finally accept that i'm awake and can't get back to sleep, then like minutes later they'll be out of the house and gone, and i'm left wide awake. once i'm awake, its almost impossible for me to get back to sleep. so stupid!!!

i was up past 5am trying to get to stupid sleep. i took some melatonin and smoked a little to help me get sleepy, but nothing! i guess its better that i didn't sleep really late so i won't have a harder time sleeping tonight...

i want mitchell to come home :(

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:57:07 GMT

i have a new boyfriend!! his name is mitchell and we're in love and its so crazy. we've been dating for about 2 months and i could not be happier. he's on tour with his brother's band right now for a week and i am DYING! he is too, hahah. we talk everyday and all we can say is "i miss you" & "i love you" hahahah its really nice to feel like this about someone again, but even more so than ever before. its really nice to have someone feel the same way about me, and express it to me all the time. i've never felt this much love toward anyone before. i can't believe how happy he makes me feel and how much i really love him. come home mitchell!!! i'm terribly sad without him around :(

school started last week and its pretty good. i'm taking: religions of the world, american studies, reasoning & problem solving, and evolution & creationism. they're all really interesting classes and all of my professors are incredibly nice and teach in a clear and concise way. i've been riding my bike to school which has been pretty rad!! it takes like 20 minutes from my house to school, park my bike and be sitting in class. plus i'm saving $150 bucks cause i don't need a parking permit! i'll probably end up buying one when it starts to get colder and rainy, but at least by then the price will be discounted.

alright i have to pee really bad and i'm supposed to go to joanne's house. i'll write more later!!

i miss you livejournal!

goddamn

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:42:23 GMT

brian and i broke up :(

i guess it just didn't work anymore. i was willing to stay and work through it, but he gave up and so i agreed. i've never felt so lonely and anytime i'm by myself my anxiety sky rockets. i just really need to be around people right now and get my mind off things. i'm trying so hard to accept everything that's happening, but i just fucking miss him so much. its heart breaking, really.

summer has never sounded so good.

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 08:05:29 GMT

i've been having a really terrible time lately. anxiety, depression and panic attacks. blegh. everyday i have to drag myself out of bed and spend all day convincing myself to do what i'm supposed to be doing. i need groceries but i can't get myself to go to the store. i need to deposit my paycheck, but can't seem to get to the bank. i have a paper due tomorrow and i haven't started writing it yet. i'm trying though, and i know i'll get through this. i always do.

boo

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:39:33 GMT

so, thursday night/friday morning someone broke into my car and stole: my ipod, my radio/cd player, all my cds, my skateboard and my pogo stick!! WTF DICKS?! who does that? my dad is gonna get me a new ipod, which is very nice, but the one the assholes stole was the one brian gave me and it was inscribed and i'll never fucking see it again. AND all my cds! i've had some of those since i was 12! i am so mad. the radio i could care less about because i can replace that. i have to take the money out of my savings, but i had no emotional attachment to it, so whatever. OH and they took the half bottle of vodka that was in my trunk for party emergencies. i can only imagine some druggy skating away on my skateboard, taking shots of vodka and being all pumped on all the drugs he'll buy. dick.

in other news, i've been a huge stressball lately. school caught up to me and was like YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THIS WORK EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT WANT TO, and i cried a little, and then had some beers and some cigarettes and did it. stupid.

so far this week has been pretty good. on friday my dad is taking me to get some cooking supplies so i can get down to business with my new cookbook and make some gourmet shit. i cant wait!

anjie had her baby, adeline, today. 9 lbs 6 oz! she looks just like mark, hahah. um...

alright i'm gonna go to bed and watch the real housewives of new york or whatever it is.

bye, dudes.

lunch time!

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:12:44 GMT

multigrain bread with hummus, basil, tomato & cucumber with a little sea salt and fresh ground pepper. i took a bite because i couldn't resist! hahah so easy and so delicious!! i accompanied my sammich with salt & vinegar chips, yuuuuum.

i took the day off work today so i could study and get some homework done. i've been procrastinating so bad lately and i need to catch up and keep up with everything going on. i want good grades!

i bought so much delicious food yesterday, so more yummy food pictures to come. i'm gonna make snobby joes and chickpea cutlets with mustard sauce next (from veganomicon). OH! anja, i found BATTER BLASTER! that pancake in a can stuff hahhah. i was at henry's farmers market and i was just browsing in the refrigerated section and it was like a light shown down from the heaven's. i was so excited! hahah i can't wait to make some pancakes!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:33:47 GMT

i stopped drinking bottled water a few weeks ago and today i bought a smartwater at the grocery store and it is SO GROSS. it just tastes like plastic. i used to drink only bottled water, and it is so weird to taste the plastic now. i spent my whole life drinking that shit. GROSSSSSS

also, i stopped washing my face and it is a miracle! i still got my pre-period zits, but they went away so quickly and my skin feels so good and i'm amazed.

i wanna tell everyone i see about all this stuff! i just love trying out these new things that i'm learning about and seeing them work, and knowing that it is so much better for me. i feel so good, man.

tonight i gotta study for my sociology midterm (shits weak!) and i wanna clean my room. i want to go grocery shopping and get some new kicks. so much to do, so little time!

p.s. i mailed my netflix movies back on monday and they still haven't received them!! i wanna watch the rest of big love! boooo

FOOD

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:22:28 GMT

last night i made my first recipe from veganomicon: tomato-rice soup with roasted garlic and navy beans. IT IS SO GOOD! i invited jake and meagan over to help me eat some of it and they were amazed too. i love making delicious food and then people telling me i'm a good cook. it rules. i also made a pizza using pizza dough from trader joes. i put marinara sauce, eggplant, artichoke hearts and red onion on it. we dipped the pizza in the soup hahha. oh man!

here's what i just made for dinner right now:

brown rice pasta with marinara sauce, chick peas and roasted brussel sprouts. so good! i'll eat half for lunch tomorrow. food food food.

i wanna make so many more recipes! if only i had infinite money and time.

alright i gotta go paint a still life for class tomorrow, drink beer and watch movies. sounds pretty good, but the painting will take hours and i will complain and think about how much i can't wait to go to sleep. hahha

peace out, fools.

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:22:22 GMT

dude, i went to meet jessica's sister in the orange circle at this irish bar and this drunk guy was like all over her, and then she went to the bathroom or something and he was all over me and i was SO GROSSED OUT!!! hhahah and then! we were about to go and she went to talk to some friends or something, so i was left standing with the drunk weirdo and he TRIED TO KISS ME!!! i totally backed up and was like "what are you doing?!" and he was like "oh i was just looking at your glasses..." HAHHAHAHHAHAH and then 2 minutes later he was like "oh i'm so sorry, i'm sorry....i'm sorry" hahhahahahaa

fuck anxiety

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:46:45 GMT

i am so sick of it! i just went grocery shopping and was freaking out inside the whole time! i can't just relax and look at stuff and search for what i'm looking for. other people just drive me crazy! i'll be trying to look at something and if someone comes near me i just walk away. i can't handle it!! i end up just grabbing whatever and leaving as fast as i can. i got some good stuff but not everything i wanted and fuck, man. i just wanna take my time and i feel so rushed!

dude

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:09:30 GMT

i got a check from my mom for $150 for my birthday!! AND my dumb dad forgot my birthday (its a long story) and he's taking me out for dinner on friday and i think he's gonna give me money toooo. new clothes and new kitchen tools here i come!

okay, i'm gonna watch boogie nights and go to bed. goodnight livejournal.

oh, shit. i just realized kimya dawson is playing friday. dad is gonna have to reschedule!

greasy grimy gopher guts...

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 GMT

is how i feel right now! its just cause i need to wash my smelly hair. i hate it!

i just finished my personal narrative for my racial inequality class. i had to write about how i define myself racially and my experiences with that and with other races. it was hard to write because i don't really deal with it very much. i don't know. plus i'm pretty bad at explaining things. oh well, its done and now i get to paint! we finally started painting in my painting class. he had us drawing for the first 3 weeks and i was like, "um... dude, this is a painting class, i didn't sign up for this so i could draw," but we finally started painting and right now we're doing color mixing and stuff like that, which is fun. oh and we're using oil paints and i had never used them before so its exciting! i love learning to use new mediums!

now i need to go to the store and purchase some beer to drink, some cookies to eat and something delicious for lunch tomorrow. i was gonna go grocery shopping at trader joe's, but i waited to long and they close in 30 minutes and i don't want to be rushed.

i have been craving sweets so bad lately!! its driving me crazy. i'm hoping if i buy some cookies that are healthy-ish the craving will leave and never come back. thankfully at the store i'm going to they have a pretty good healthy section! i have now come to loathe shopping at a regular grocery store. it kinda makes me sad going to them cause there are so many terrible things that they sell and everyone buys them and eats them and gives them to little kids who then in turn grow up and buy those things too.

on friday i went to zoe's birthday party with joanne and ana. it had a high school stereotype theme. i was the school slut, joanne was a nerd and ana was gothic. ana's was the best costume ever! when she walked through the door everyone was like "OOOOHHHHHHH!" and i was kinda jealous, hahha. the party pretty much sucked because after five minutes we realized everyone there was like 18 and we felt old, and then felt older for feeling old hahhaha. fuck it. we didn't stay too long. then ana dropped me and jo off and we went to marty's for a beer, but it was pretty boring there too. this weekend pretty much sucked.

yesterday i was supposed to go out to eat at rutabegorz with brian, but he didn't get to my house until 9:30 and it was too late. we got mexican food at molcasalsa instead, but it made me feel gross after we ate it. greasy and cheesy, blech. i'm losing my ability to eat shitty food, which is exciting and kind of defeating at the same time. weird.

today i bought some new paints, ate lunch at corner bakery (panini with provolone cheese, artichoke hearts, roasted tomatoes and pesto nom nom nom nom) and spent most of the day being in a bad mood mostly cause i just felt gross.

oh here's a picture of our costumes

i hope i have a good week and i hope you do too.

why i hate mornings so bad

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:17:06 GMT

this morning SUCKED! my crazy upstairs (her room is right above mine) roommate had her alarm going off at 6am. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. thing is, she wasn't even home! her door was locked and so for 2 hours it kept going on and on and on. so i finally was just like, "fuck it! i'm UP IM UP!" and washed my face, brushed my teeth, and i come out from the bathroom and the alarm is OFF. goddamnit. so, by then ana comes out of her room and we trash talk our terrible roommates and i feel better. i get dressed, put on my shoes and go to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. i reach for a bowl and i feel something tickle in my shoe, so of course i kick it off as fucking fast as i can and a CRICKET JUMPS OUT! what?! a fucking cricket. i was so creeped out. i love crickets, but not in my shoes!

oh! and i was laying awake this morning hating my life i realized that i forgot 3 canvas boards at school last night! i would've just let someone steal them and forget it, but i had already started work on two of them, so i had to drive to school in the morning traffic and fight the morning parking traffic to find a spot, so i could run over and grab them before they disappeared forever.

one long fucking morning.

but then my day got better! i went to work and got some delicious snacks at the grocery store and a coffee (which i hardly ever drink anymore, but i really needed it today!). work was pretty fun. plus, joanne is gonna work there with me!!! its gonna be so fun with her there! we got bagel me for lunch, which was delicious! i ate a multigrain bagel with roasted peppers, onions, avocado, tomato and lettuce. yum.

i had a dentist appointment to get my teeth cleaned and the assistant who did it kept saying how great my teeth look, and i felt so happy about it! great teeth!! i've spent my whole life battling my stupid teeth and its so great to hear nice things!

on my way home from work i stopped to get carrots, cucumbers and hummus to snack on while i'm in my online class and next i'm gonna finish my wire shark sculpture for class tomorrow!

oh oh! i made a new friend at school yesterday, which is really rare for me cause i'm so goddamn shy. her name is erica and we sat next to each other in our painting class and talked and talked the whole time we were working. fun! its rad having someone to talk to and get food with on breaks.

so yeah, i'm having a pretty good week, despite this morning, and i'm happy! yesssss

birthday presents

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 23:20:54 GMT

i'm gonna make a picture list of all the stuff i got for my birthday. so much good stuff!!

i am SO EXCITED about this!

and this! its finally out in paperback. i fucking hate reading hardcovers

for sleepin' in or maybe even dressing up to wear out? i dont know yet.

i've been eyeing this bag for ages and its finally mine!! its probably my first legitimate purse. i've always just carried canvas bags and stuff like that..

i showed this to brian when we were at the kozyndan show at giantrobot and he went back and got it for me! sneaky sneak. on the back it says "kozyndan give you good things" its so fucking cute and perfect for overnight stays or carrying all my art shit at school. i fucking LOVE IT

a matte stephens print. i saw his stuff on drawn! sometime last year and i saw his etsy shop and drooled over the prints. i got my birthday money and bought this!! i cant wait to frame it and put it up in my room! its big too! 13" x 17"

i also got:
a $20 gift card to target from joanne
a $40 gift card to trader joes from my sister (already used it hahah)
julia got me 3 jars of jelly belly's and a bottle of sake. so random, i fucking love her.
all my other friends pretty much just bought me drinks when we went out. i got so drunk and puked on t's neighbors lawn and it felt SO good. i hardly ever puke when i drink. i partied hard!
and brian also got me:
a pair of fun steps (i go through them so fast cause they match everything i ever wear and i would die without them.)
a cute print of a bicycle! he wrapped it up with the richard dawkins book and it got taped to the wrapping paper and i didnt see it and threw it away! so it got kinda crumpled up. the next day he was like "did you get the bicycle print?" and i had no idea what he was talking about hahaha as soon as i got home i rescued it from impending doom.

i think thats it! i'm leaving for my dads house in laguna beach as soon as i'm off work. he's gonna make me dinner! and hopefully he got me something cool for my birthday too hahha

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:51:27 GMT

rosemary's baby is the creepiest movie!! its totally freaking me out!

sick of being sick

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 06:33:24 GMT

i got sick!!! i was fighting it so hard! taking my vitamins, having emergen-c and orange juice a few times a day, plenty of tea.. damnit!

my tonsils are swollen and are totally fucking me up. i have a fever, headache, general achy-ness. fuck. the worst part is living by myself and having no one to make me soup and bring me stuff and take care of me. i hate that brian lives far away. 30 minutes seems like nothing, but its a lot!

i went to trader joes to get some get-better-food: organic ginger tea to mix with honey and lemon, organic veggie soup, lentil/veggie soup, orange juice and i got some organic oatmeal to make for breakfast. it should feel so good on my throat! i hope i get better soon. i really hate missing school and work. i miss the good old days of high school when i could miss all the school all i wanted and it didnt really matter.

also, i've been eating so much healthier lately. that's what makes getting sick even worse. i've been buying organic as much as i can, eating lots of veggies, fruits and just generally healthy food. home cooking, no fast food, no soda! i don't get it. i guess the bacteria or virus or whatever is stronger than i thought!

tonsils of doom!

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:57:42 GMT

i turn 23 in one hour and 6 minutes.

boooo :( i liked being 22

but tomorrow is gonna rule!! a delicious vegetarian chinese dinner with my friends and then dancing and drinking at some bar thats supposed to be rad. i love birthdays!! everything i do tomorrow is like instantly a million times more fun just because. best day of the year!

oh and i ordered a nixon wallet for brian just because i love him and he deserves something new and cool. i got it today in the mail! hahah so now i'm gonna give him a present on my birthday, i love it.

alright i need to shutup and get in the shower before i write like a million words.

blah blah blah

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 00:04:12 GMT

so, christmas came and went, and i'll just say i was looking forward to it so much and it was pretty disappointing. my family is boring and no one cares about anything. i had to be with my family so there was no chance of seeing my friends. the only good part of my christmas was when i finally got to see brian late at night, exchange our gifts (he ordered mine online and it didnt arrive on time!) and drink champagne and actually enjoy ourselves on christmas day.

other than that holiday business i've been hardly working and sleeping in as much as possible! hahah. after next week i have to start working regular hours because i need more money, but its nice to be lazy for a few weeks and do whatever i want! even though i have no money i'm still having a good time!

i want more money though! i want to buy new clothes and delicious food and go out with friends and buy them all drinks! i wish.

20 more minutes of work and the weekend begins! tonight i'll probably end up with brian at his new house (he just moved from his own one bedroom apartment to a 3 bedroom house with 2 other dudes that go to his school but he doesn't know, lets see what happens!). tomorrow i'm supposed to see my dad and celebrate christmas together a little bit late. the rest of the weekend is up in the air. i just wanna have fun and really enjoy my break. fuck letting free time go to waste. the end.

genius!

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:04:30 GMT

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

ow ow owwwwww

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 23:16:42 GMT

my teeth HURT! i got them whitened this morning and the pain is fucking unbearable! i looked up some website and all these people were saying the same thing happened to them, but it should go away by tomorrow, so i cant wait for that! i left work early cause i just couldn't deal with the pain and trying to work, hahah.

i went to trader joes and picked up a ton of delicious foods. right now = a movie about Shackleton (amazing!!), pad thai and chocolate soy ice cream for dessert. with this rainy, gloomy day and the rest of the day to do whatever i want i couldn't be any happier!

WTF?!

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:05:08 GMT

two of my roommates are out of their goddamned fucking minds. they drive me CRAZY!! right now its midnight and they are in the kitchen cooking like stir fry or something and the last thing i wanna smell when i'm going to bed is peppers and onions! and they are just like talking so loud and being SO STUPID! i hate them. they are like in their thirties and so i would think they had some sort of common decency about how to live with other people, but they are the worst. lkjaf;ehfaeoifhaeij i can't wait to until i can move out of here.

i gotta study or something. i want to go into the kitchen and just like throw up, and not say anything and walk out. that would be so good.